Billy

Billy was not conceived in love, passion yes, but not love. Billy was born into love though. He has the love of his young caribbean mother who passed on her almond eyes, fair skin and curly brown hair to her son. He is her joy, and has become her first love. This same young boy who was born the first nephew of his loving aunt. The very apple of her eye. She often daydreams of one day having a little boy as beautiful as he. His uncle is often removed from his life but in his way he shows his affection the way uncles often show love to nephews. They engage in occasional rough housing and chat about the latest video games.
He is the first grandchild to his maternal grandmother and her pride and joy. They enjoy a love affair only they two understand. They see one another with love colored glasses and neither can do any wrong.
Billy's life is filled with love and yet he still aches. He aches for the love of a father. His Mother aches to fill his void but in the end she is not a man. Even though she feels like she plays both cards and strives to be both mother and father if she looks in the mirror, she is only mother. Father is long gone.
This makes Billy cry.
In class Billy dreads discussions the lead to daddy talk. Father's Day is approaching and his teacher has reported that he appears depressed, melancholy as she describes it. Mother suffers quietly to hear these reports. She would like to bang down the door of the Father and show him Billy's pain. She doesn't understand how his heart could be so cold, how he could be so uncaring, unconcerned.
This makes Mother cry.
Mother tries to distract him from the absence with activity. He plays sports and excels, coach invites him to bring his father by to watch him play. He learns music and wishes his Father were in the audience at his recital. He makes friends and friends lead him back to daddy stories and the cycle continues.
This makes Mother wonder is she made the right "choice". She is ashamed to think it and puts it out of her head as quickly as it came. She knows the guilt would only be the same.