There is always one that you have to get out of your system. They are poison for you, and you know this but, they get "in" you and you can't get over the addiction. His name was, well, I am opting to protect the less than innocent. He was my latin love. I think every girl should have one-they're good for the soul.
We met at the gym. It was the first and only time that I met someone in which the initial meeting had a palpable chemistry. You could smell the pheromones and feel the eletricity. He was my self esteem booster. To be looked at the way he did, there wasn't any other way to feel. He was very sure of himself in an almost cocky way and yet, you couldn't turn away. You (I) listened to him. I kind of wanted him to boss me around, as much as it angered me-I kept coming back for more. Whatever he gave, I took. Some where along this story things got really twisted. The fun game ended and the lies began. Honestly, the lies were always there I suppose it's just that I got tired of hearing them. I got tired of half truths and deception. Chemistry was no longer enough to hold me. I needed more. I felt that I deserved more.
I grew up.
One day I opened my eyes, I mean really opened my eyes and knew that I couldn't do this anymore. I deleted him from my phone and asked that he do the same. I went through withdrawal but it was worth it to have back my sanity. I got over him. Slowly slowly I got over him. He made a brief reappearance claiming rebirth, asking for a chance to prove himself. I declined.
On Saturday he came back. Well, it wasn't HIM actually, it was just his scent. He sat next to me on the subway platform surrounded by a cloud of Acqua di Gio. The smell knocked me back a few years and took my breathe away for a moment. Then I was back. I couldn't help but smile. I'm glad for the memories but, it lets me know how far I've come. How much more I know myself and the things I want and don't want. I've had the opportunity to go down that rocky road again but, I chose not to. I am proud of myself for that.
