I feel like crawling into a vat of chocolate then laying down in the fetal position and crying. I get the worst PMS. Today my mood has flucuated from annoyance to I'd like to smash your head up against the wall. This switch in mood takes only seconds. I don't want to be Jekyll and Hyde but today that is the role I was cast to be. It's not only today really-I should be more accurate. The monkey's been riding my back all week, the delivery is scheduled to drop sometime Saturday (probably between 10 and 2). I'll take the ride down the river any day than be awakened at the crack of dawn by a screaming newborn but...I digress.
When I get this way I start doubting myself, and my life and my choices. I get paranoid-like, maybe my boss is on to me. Maybe he's read my print out of George Costanza's "Ways to Look Busy at Work". Maybe today is the day that my gig is up...
Perhaps he has snooped around my desk and discovered how I'm planning the details of My Dear Friend Irene's 30th Birthday. It's even possible that he's seen my flight confirmation for June-a vacation that I'm planning without asking for time first. Did he see me today when I was comparing hotels in Mexico for the wedding is May? I'm sure he did. At least he wasn't here when I updated my resume yesterday. I promise I won't start faxing until he goes on vacation next month though. I'm losing it bit by bit.
I'm supposed to hit the gym tonight and I've been talking myself out of it all day. Ever done that? Tried to convince yourself of something when you know what you really SHOULD be doing? I mean there's always Friday right? But who spends Friday night in the gym? Losers that's who!
Speaking of losers (namely me) yesterday I misread an email from my boss. The email said "Thanks. Keep at it". I read this as "Thanks. Keep it at that". In my version it meant my work was complete. In reality (a place that I don't visit often) it meant I have a crap load of work to do. I figured this out today when the Doctor Lady that I'm working with came in for us to conference and I proceeded to basically dismiss her. Even when she looked at me confused I keep talking. I even pulled up the email to prove the boss man said this is enough. Doctor Lady kept looking at me more confused and then READ the lines that I was pointing to and obviously NOT READING. So, I vow to learn to read a.s.a.p.
I also managed to get on the wrong bus going home at 10:15pm last night. How, I don't know. All I remember is I saw B38 and I got on. When the bus proceeded to go a route I was not at all familiar with I got off, when I looked again at the sign it said B26. Due to the genius that is the MetroCard I could not use my unlimited MetroCard again for 18 minutes so I walked home (granted on the walk-the RIGHT bus never passed me). I walked home in the cold with a skirt on and bleeding feet. Okay, they weren't technically bleeding but that is how they felt. Not only that, I felt like an idiot. I can't even find my way home??
Forty-five minutes till I get out of here and I think me and Orville Redenbacher are going to snuggle up and make this a night in.
