A Memory

The year is 1995. Method Man and Mary are "All I need to get by", Mariah's in a "Fantasy" and Guru has "Mass Appeal. Chicka and I were up to our usual tricks and I was "going out" with "E", it didn't get better than that. In some ways I think I knew it was good, that I needed to savor the moments like you savor the last bite of your favorite dessert. You don't want it to end, even though you know that it has to. So, you kind of hold it in your mouth for a few seconds longer before you swallow so the taste lingers.

We had good times, me and "E". I don't want them back though. Sometimes people say how they want to go back, I don't. It was good, but I want to keep it there, I can go back and relive the memories.
I always kinda had in the back of my mind that one day when we were 50 something, we'd "get together with the kids" and the signifigant others and talk about the old days. I never imagined that it would be like this. That you'd be gone without a good bye, or a true reconciliation. I always thought I had more time. I got the message from my mom that you asked about me a while back, and I meant to get back to you but…life happened and then it was lower down on my to-do list. This way is so much more painful because there's so much I had left to say. It's all right there at the tip of my tongue and I need to dish. I need to tell you what's been going on since we last spoke and I need to hear your laugh and see you smile. Just don't seem like, fair. Just don't seem fair that you had to go so soon. Just doesn't seem fair that it's forever, it's so, final. You can't cry to make it stop, you can't press rewind. That's it.
I don't want to go back and relive the memories because you can't come.