I've read about it twice today. This morning, I read an article in yesterday's paper that told the story of Teri Hatchers abuse and the role she played in locking up the uncle that abused her. She came forward because a 14 year old little girl who was abused by Teri's uncle committed suicide recently. He's been doing it for 35 years. After I settled in to work (or the avoidance thereof) I checked My Morning Tea and there was someone else telling their story of abuse.
A couple of months ago BestGalPal, her daughter The Diva and I visited the home of my sister and two nieces. The girls believe that they are "cousins" and always have loads of fun whenever they have the opportunity for a play date. This day was no exception.
Prior to our arrival my Martha Stewart sister (Sister #2-in birth order) had prepared homemade playdough and cupcakes. The girls spent the afternoon enjoying each others company as they created doughy one of a kind masterpieces and decorated cupcakes made from scratch (but of course!). As the children settled into a lazy day Saturday afternoon rythmn of Barbies and Dora the adults settled into the livingroom. Sisters #2 , #4 and #5 joined BestGalPal and I for an afternoon chat. At some point the conversation turned to abuse-I'm not sure how or why. Sister #4 spouted a statistic, "One in five women are sexually abused". We all stopped talking and looked around the room. I held my breathe. There we were, my 3 sisters and one friend wondering, "Who?". There was a small pause and someone offered up a story of improperity, some uncomfortable moment at a young age. I don't remember all the details because I wasn't really listening. All I could hear was the sound of my heart, pounding. All I could see was, what happened to me.
I can't believe it happens so often. It's scary and sad. My story is like everyone elses. It involves and uncle and a family friends older son. It starts with sleepovers and dark bedrooms where older boys are trusted to be alone with little girls and they coerce them into playing "games" that make little girls feel uncomfortable. This little girl has a protective mommy who is fiercely afraid that something like this could happen. Her mommy does her best to protect her but-she locks the beast inside.
This little girl has an uncle that isn't quite "right". One day the little girl is left alone for a short while on a warm spring day in her mommy's bedroom. As soon as her mommy leaves uncle picks up the little girl who just started kindergarten and tries to pull down the little girls pants. He lays her on the bed and puts his body on top of hers-the little girl cries out, she doesn't know what is going on. Mommy comes running into the room and her fists and angry words are flying at uncle. He is looking at her like he doesn't quite understand what he just did. Mommy and the little girl never talk about it again, ever. It makes the little girl feel bad because she remembers all the time. Years later, the little girl is a big girl and she sees her uncle several more times. Every time she has to hug him and she remembers it all over again. She remembers that everyone else forgot.
