Please stop letting things break in my house, I can't afford anymore. I can do light bulbs sir but not major appliances. I need my washing machine to work I really really do - please bring it back from the dead, it's NEW! I saw the receipt with my own eyes. I swear I did. Thank you for giving Jason the strength and wisdom to fix the toilet after his jackass friend flushed a piece of plastic down it. We are forever in your gratitude. But no more doors or windows or anything like that okay? We can't handle it...It makes me want to burn the house down - after all, that would be cheaper.
-Amen
